Amanda 0:12
Hello, everybody, welcome back to I don't know what season this is, but this is the first episode back after my little summer hiatus and break. I am so excited to be back on the Slumber Party podcast and we have a real treat for you today. I am here with Michelle Agnelo. Hello, Michelle.
Michelle 0:36
Hello. How's it going?
Amanda 0:39
It's so good. I'm so excited that you're on this episode.
Michelle 0:43
I am so happy to be here. This is my first podcast ever. And it is like I am just starting with a bang.
Amanda 0:50
Oh, I'm so glad, that's such a, that's such a compliment to me. We actually work together for I mean, I can't really take any credit, but we kind of did the newborn program with your youngest. And she was so amazing. Like I was like, Are you sure? Do you need anything? You're like, no, she's saved? I don't know. I don't know what happened.
Michelle 1:15
No, but you know what, you actually were totally helpful. And so many good reminders from my eldest the first time around it was it made it much smoother. So
Amanda 1:23
yes. Oh, I mean, I'm so glad I feel like it's that second time parenting thing to where you're just so calm, cool and collected. And I feel like they feed off your energy. And they're like, I'm fine. I'll just sleep. It's so good.
Michelle 1:36
I don't know if I would go that far. But you know, the universe gives you what you can handle. And so god bless...says that all the time
Amanda 1:45
Well, we are actually I want to give a little brief heads up to our listeners. This is a sponsored episode. But you've been here long enough. I don't do sponsored episodes about things I'm not obsessed with. I don't have a lot of sponsored episode. And this is sponsored by Philips Avent. And we will be talking about products that we genuinely love. So if it feels at times, you're like, hey, wow, you were talking specifically about a product? That's weird. No, you're not imagining it. We are but with our whole heart, and we're talking about boobs bottles, back to work. We did a master class on this in September, September 13. That master class will be available on my website for a free download. Thanks, Philips Avent for doing that. And we thought, you know, it's one thing, those master classes are so awesome. But it's one thing to actually have an actual conversation with a human about your real experience. And Michelle agreed to come and talk to me about this, which I'm so thankful. And you know, I just like to jump right in. Michelle, you are a back to work, mom. I mean, you were working during I mean, you're a parent Matt lever. I don't know if you took that leave, but you had a baby. And you were working. And I want to tell us about your back to work experience.
Michelle 3:16
Yeah, I mean, with my eldest, I had a formal mat leave, but I still worked. And then with my little one, who was born just under a year ago, she was born this past November, I didn't take a mat leave. I'm a full time content creator. So I kept doing all of that. And it was right around the holidays. So it was a super busy time. So yeah, it was really right back into it. And kind of navigating, getting all of those things done while still being a mom. Breastfeeding, obviously, being a huge part of that. Yeah, my, my boobs don't work the best with breasts. Not really, they weren't. They weren't for other things, Amanda, but in this particular instance, they did not. And I really, I really tried to be honest, like both times around, really wanted to make it happen. My supply was just no good. I struggled a lot. And to your point surrounding Philips, I was actually doing a partnership with them at the time. And they were so supportive. I was like, Listen, you guys sent me this amazing restaurant. It's great. It's convenient, it's light, it's so easy to clean. It's all of the great things that I just am not able to do it. And they were so great. You know, we're just like, hey, Fred is best and I couldn't agree more. And that's just kind of my mantra with both my kids and they both been 95th percentile height and weight. So I'm like, You know what they're doing all right. Yeah, and so I kind of was a formula mom basically from like the three weak points both my girls and it's helped a lot because especially with working right away, I was able to have like my husband Unlike, you know, if my mom was over whatever helped me feed the girls, and we used the Philips natural bottles, which was great. And I don't know if I'm just lucky that they both took them or if it really is just because the design is like made that way, but neither Michaels bought it. So that was like, literally a godsend, because I'm pretty sure it would have broke my heart and just stressed me out so much, if that had been something else that I had to deal with.
Amanda 5:26
Oh, my gosh, I Well, so I I'm so biased. And this is why when we talk about like sponsored episodes, I'm like, no, no, no, I was, I would do this for free and have done it for free. Because we had a similar situation like I was, I didn't know when I was going back to work basically had my first baby, I was a teacher. And I mean, unlike now, you know, post pandemic where teachers are like, I'm done and leaving and there's a gazillion jobs and we can't fill those spaces. Back in 2014. Like getting a teaching job, a full time permanent teaching job was like impossible. I found my full time permanent teaching role at an all girls school that I really wanted to work at. It was literally a dream. I couldn't believe it. But it prior to that I was so like, I felt like I had a premonition that I knew that was coming. And so I was very keen on getting my daughter on a bottle as soon as I could, because I didn't want to be in this situation where it's like surprise, you're hired in September. And now your child can't take a bottle. Because that did happen. I was hired in September, but we really really struggled with boob to bottle, and that combination feeding thing. And so we like good. I think I spent so much money on like, you know, this bottle, that bottle. And then finally, I think we bought like two bottles. It just wasn't working. And then we had all of the sample bottles that had been given to us, you know, like you go to a baby shower, or you do a thing where you like, go to a maternity store. And they're like, have a bottle you're like great, fine. So I kept all of it. And I remember I took it the Philips haven't bottom. I sent it to her and she took it and I was like, Oh my God. It's happening. And so I am so like thankful. for that. We just, I mean in that was started our love affair with the Philips have a bottle. And so I mean, and now what I really love is like they have a glass option. And it might be totally aesthetic, but I think I'd prefer a glass option now. Then plastic while you
Michelle 7:48
are you can use both actually I like the plastic for on the go because I keep it in like that little side piece and the baby bag and I don't want to be like obviously smashing it. But I love the glass because like I just feel you know, it's I don't know, maybe it's in my mind, but I feel like it's super sanitary. Just because glass is like really easy to eat and I do. Wow. Right? And yeah, like weightiness of it in like my hands. Again, when they were still when I was still doing night feeds. The plastic was kind of nice. But honestly, like, we love the glass. Like, I just feel like you get a good grip. I don't know, I love them. I love them totally.
Amanda 8:24
I also found that, you know, I did have a lot of like supply I could have felt I really truly believe that. There were people in communities I know I've said this on this podcast before, who were meant to feed everyone in, in the community, like back in the day, like a million years ago, like you had the you had the wet nurse, right? And she's like, I can feed your baby and I can feed yours, your boobs don't work, bring your baby over here. That would have been me and another time like I had so much milk. And it was great. But then there are issues with that I had oversupply because my body was like, Are you feeding seven kids? And I'm like no. But what happened is my flows really fast. And I found that initially I was buying these like nipple sizes that weren't like satisfying my daughter basically. And so I was like Could it be that she needs a faster flow? Thankfully, Philips has a range of nipple sizes and flows. So I was able to increase that and that really actually was a game changer for us. So for those who are kind of making that boob to bottle, like transition, that could be something that is like don't necessarily go by age, go by your flow and what you know about your boobs already. That made all the difference for us.
Michelle 9:56
And I will go that just because my eldest litter really was the same and we had to like up the flow on the bottle nipples to be more for her or she would get frustrated like so much so that her nickname is piggy to this day. Because that that is just like she was just a little picky like she just wanted a bottle right? And like she just wanted a lot of it. And my my youngest now is the same like she's already on the Maximo one. But she was on that, like earlier than the age prescribed it you know, yeah. So I think that's a great tip
Amanda 10:29
100% 100% And I feel like, I mean, that's the whole other thing, like when I mean, I know that you weren't able to pump and you formula fed and fed is best. It's funny, because I was actually yesterday, on my Instagram, I wrote a post about pumping. And it's funny, like people's, like, I haven't pumped in six years, six and a half years or so, things have changed so much. And just like even my close friends were like, oh, you know, pumping was so challenging and so difficult. And then meanwhile, like what I was doing this promotion, Philips sent me their pump to take a look at it and be like, hey, like, take a look. See if it feels aligned. And I was like, Yeah, for sure. I spent no joke a minute being like, where's the pump. And then I realized the pump is literally like no bigger than this cell phone. What has happened? It comes in a belt...
Michelle 11:32
The belt is incredible. Like, again, I actually I did actually try it for a few weeks, I just didn't have the supply, like I physically did use it. And compared to the other brands who we shall not name whose model I had with my first daughter where I literally needed to be plugged into a wall. And it made me like hate the whole experience. This was amazing. Yeah. Like if you if you were someone like you who had a good supply, you would be done in like, two seconds. I swear it's amazing.
Amanda 12:07
Well, the they sent me the double electric breast pump and what I kept thinking about so you don't have to be like I didn't test this out. It's a claim. But you don't have to be hunched over. Like there's like a gravity thing. Like the suction it like you can just be living your life, like sitting around doing life. And for me, I was hardcore. I like went to the US I bought a car adapter for my palm so I could pump on the way and on the way back. And it was me driving. If you're watching a video, I'm totally hunched over like a maniac for like, and like, here we go. And I mean, I just can't believe that, you know, this is not like 1995 this was like 2014. And I'm just so happy that the technology has evolved with the time this has a rechargeable battery, the belt where it's on you keeping you like, I don't know, it feels like just such a much more humane process, and so much less invasive.
Michelle 13:19
100%. And like, even to your point, like even saying, Oh $19.95 Even then like women have been breastfeeding for like centuries. Like why is this only now, but I just whenever I'm grateful that it is now and it's one of those things that like, I'm the first of my very close friends to have had babies. So all of my friends like, I will be telling them that to like do not go for one of those antiquated models where you are literally stuck to a wall and you feel like honestly, like a cow. Like it's not like, it's not fun right now. But this makes it so much nicer and that you can actually get other stuff done while you're doing it. I think especially with like, multiple, like, I wouldn't have had the time to sit there plugged into a wall with a toddler, you know?
Amanda 14:01
No. So I mean, well, that's that's the whole thing, right? Like, especially with like multiple kids. And I don't know, there's just something about youth, you really feel like a factory animal. And some of the responses yesterday about pumping were just around the lines of like, you know, I feel I feel like a cow. I feel like it's a full time job. And I'm like, yeah, so listen, anyone who knows me, my clients, anyone who's working with me, I'm always doing something else. Like the option to multitask is so I have I have a treadmill under my desk because Why shouldn't I be getting my steps while I'm on the call and on a call all day like I'm not now but I could be? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm so I'm so obsessed. And I mean, I feel like it's important to also talk about this as well because I've learned a lot about breastfeeding in this role. I thought I knew A lot just having breastfed, but what we do know is like every boob really is different. The chest capacity, your feeding capacity, the amount of ducks you have per boob is different. And so what I really like about this particular pump is that there are eight stimulation, and 16 expression levels. That is next level shit. I will edit that out if I can't say shit. But this is a game changer. And I keep thinking about my my clients who struggle with pumping or struggle with getting that output, you really might be able to configure a setting to really increase that, at that output significantly. And I found it was like that definitely is it is a difference from my past experience of like, well, this is a pump, these are your boobs, hook yourself up, and good luck, we'll get what we get.
Michelle 15:58
I definitely and I could be wrong. Like I don't know every product on the market. But I definitely personally have not seen anything with nearly that many options. And not only like the outfit like to your point, but also again, just the comfort, right? You're doing this so often. Like it should be something that doesn't feel like it's hurting
Amanda 16:18
100% It's almost like we're humans to something that that is good and comfortable. Yeah, okay, so So I want to know your experience on this. I definitely have my own but like, you know, you got your sweet ass bottle, you're pumping up a story and you're a milkmaid, you're living your best life. And like, all of that is great, but you have to go to work and leave the house. How? How did that go for you?
Michelle 16:52
Honestly, even to present day, it's still tough. My kids have like, major attachment to me and like, you know, separation anxiety, I think that was amplified not only just by like the regular, like milestones and ages of like, you know, being a toddler baby, but also the pandemic, right, because, for the most part, even when I was working, I was at home, so they could physically see me like, even right now I came to record this with you. My kids are home, I had to obviously walk away to do this in a quiet place. And it was like, where's Mommy? Where's money? Where's the money? Where's money? So, like money is is is clean, right? Which is great. And I love that. But at the same time, you have to be able to leave sometimes like just for getting stuff done in your own mental health. So I know with me like obviously, the fact that they could be fed by someone else was huge and kept in a good mood, but like actually leaving. It was just more like of course always reminding them like Mommy will be back soon. And like now that my eldest is older, like giving tangible like time stretches. Yeah, so it she like knows I'm coming back. And then when I fulfill that she's like, oh, yeah, this is fine, right. And like, I can't communicate that with my littlest one yet, because she just wouldn't grasp that she's only 10 months. But we also like, as you know, even with sleep, like we're a family that we were like a big mole, we are a big pasty family. So being able to leave like a lovey or something for them, or, you know, just if they're having like a meltdown in the care of someone else, whether that's my husband or my mom, whatever. Being able to give them something to come for them is huge for me. If anyone who's listening to this already follows me. As I mentioned, I have worked with Philips like on other partnerships. And my favorite, favorite favorite thing is the Soothie Snuggle, which are like the little weighted stuffies that attach to the Paci.
Amanda 18:44
I feel like even if you're thinking of it, it is what it is like, this is the products like the Soothie Snuggle it's, it's the, what do you call it, like the default version of this? It's such a great product.
Michelle 18:57
I think so too. And like, I like that you can and we've talked about this because I'm so OCD and like so germaphobe and again, like throw in a global pandemic, and just like I'm done so right. I'm like, why is this happening? Why is this happening? So it for me, it's like I love how easily they can detach because a if I didn't want the little stuffy attached, I could take it off but be I could just toss it in the wash. And they're like, fully washable. And I also like because again, I'm crazy. I'm like a dog dog. Right? So it's like to be this way when I had kids but now I'm like, Who is this person? All the little attachments that are on other things like little eyeballs and stuff. I'm like, oh my god that's gonna be like in her crib or in the car while I'm driving where I don't have a clear view and they're like in a choke so these have nothing else on them. It is just stuffy. Like I said, you can literally just pull it off. Throw it in the wash. It's super easy. So like I swear by those and it does help also leaving them not even just like in the care of someone else. But like even at that time like as you know, we, we used posses as like an aid for all of our sleeping both my girls are amazing sleepers. Thank God, would we actually just weaned my eldest off pasties completely because she just turned three. And like, but she had been using it up to them because she loved them. That was like her thing, right? Yeah. So, but now she's completely off them by little one still uses. And yeah, like, to me, it's the best. And again, the nice thing is to speaking of different stages, as you change like pasty firmness as they get older, and they get teeth and all that good stuff. The same stuff is attached to any paci.
Amanda 20:44
Because kids get really attached to the stuffy, so that's huge. And especially if they're a part of their strategy of falling asleep, or what they used to soothe. And people ask me this all the time are stuffies or levies, I call them a lovey are they sleep associations, and generally they're not. They're a comforting item, like, it's a really nice thing. So parents shouldn't really get nervous. I have my daughter had this, like, funny that she slept with and we left it in Muskoka one weekend, and my husband and I were like, Oh, my God, and she was like, it's fine, guys. Don't worry. Just give me another one. And we're like, Oh, okay. So you feel really confident about that. And I feel like if you haven't, especially if you're a Canadian, and you're listening to this, most parents are kind of returning back to work around that 10 or 12. month mark, that's a great time to be adding a lovey. I mean, they're so aware, sometimes they chat with it, sometimes they talk about it. i It is really cute. And I find that because it you know, generally what I see on my end, is when parents are going back to work, they have some sort of pushback, right, there's some sort of thing that the child is, you know, they're experiencing that separation. Like truly, so they might need extra physical touch during the day, they might just be experiencing stress. Because, you know, your childcare setting is overwhelming, you know, if you especially if your kiddo has been in the care of just you for, you know, 10 to 18 months, and then all of a sudden, there's like 416 other kids, like, that's a lot. So parents often experienced those night wakings they can panic. And this is where having that lovey can be so, so wonderful. And especially the Susie's snuggle is kind of weighted, so if they kind of like have it on them a little bit in a safe way. I mean, that can be additional soothing properties as well. I was going to say something about Yes, Night Waking. So parents are often asking me about, okay, I've gone back to work, they're up, you know, two or three times the night where they weren't, what do I do? Adding in the levee is really helpful. But just also making sure that you're not creating or introducing any behaviors, you don't want to continue. I am not saying leave your children and don't love them. Let's just be really clear. I mean, I don't think listening Yeah, I know, they're not listening to this podcast, they've like blocked me. But what I am saying is like, you know, if your kid sleeps independently, you don't want to, if if you don't want to be co sleeping, then you don't want to bring them to your bed. If that's not something you want to do, right? If you are, again, you don't want to pat you don't want to push anything that you do for just that night is something that you have to be committing to going forward, unfortunately. So what you need to do is you need to take the loss that night, and say tonight is going to be so shitty, they're going to wake, I'm going to go in, I'm going to give them a kiss and a hug, I'm going to tell them that I love them, I'm going to give them like little hug back to bed, and then I'm going to leave now that night, it's going to be crappy. But what you have done is you've broken this chain reaction of needing to do this new thing that you've introduced. So again, I don't ever care how anyone sleeps at all, at all. I mean, I have really close friends who still co sleep with their kids, I don't care. What I do care about is introducing things that you don't want to do anymore. So just don't do that. Because then everyone comes back and they're like, how did this happen? I'm like, this is behavior. This is why this way. So you've heard it here first. Oh my gosh, where I get so I like to say that this podcast is the length of a crap nap and we're getting to 24 minutes so we're getting into a good nap zone pretty soon. Michelle, we're gonna end this podcast. I want to know what your advice is for new parents returning to work for the first time. What are your things that like got He's right. And like, look at you, you look great. Whatever you're doing is working.
Michelle 25:06
No, listen, well, that's a tip in itself. If you're going back to work, get up before the kids, because that's the only way you're gonna look human. Yeah, but honestly, no main thing. Give yourself grace. You know what I mean? It's, it's a tough transition for sure. I think, you know, as moms or as parents, like, we obviously want to comfort our kids, we want our kids to be happy, feel safe. So I think, give yourself grace, you're doing what you got to do. Your kids will understand it, like, you know, like, now, again, my eldest is like, obviously aware and talk and everything says, Okay, Mommy has to go work. And she understands what that is. Right? So I mean, give yourself grace, it's going to Allah just take the help where you can, whether that's in the form of whoever is watching the kids, whether that is in the form of some of these products we talked about, just take the help or whatever, when you can, because you deserve it. And it shouldn't be hard. And yeah.
Amanda 26:00
Oh my God, it is I don't have anything else to say I really liked the tip. I learned that the hard way of like getting up before your kids that took me three to four years to realize. Now I haven't had to make myself a morning person. Because my daughter is an early riser.
Michelle 26:15
I still don't do it. Most days. I'll be honest, just because I like maximizing my sleep. But if it is the day that I have to get stuff done, it's the only way.
Amanda 26:23
Yeah, it's the best, by the way. Like I really have become addicted to this time where it's just me by myself and no Silence,
Michelle 26:31
silence and coffee.
Amanda 26:38
Think mental about it, where it's like, I don't like it. If I'm sleeping and my kid wakes me up. That's annoying. But if I'm awake, and I've sort of got myself together, it's like you are welcome to my time. Thank you. Yeah, we're welcome. I was awake anyway. Like there is something mental about that. Well, look, it's 26 minutes and 47 seconds. We don't want to get ahead of ourselves. We want you to be able to finish each episode in your crappy nap time. So you can go back and change things in your everyday life. I want to say thank you to Philips Avent for sponsoring this episode. And all of the materials that are on offer to you for free to make your return to work so much easier. This is definitely something we need to be talking more about. I don't think it gets enough attention. We kind of throw women and new parents back into the lion's den kind of pretending that they don't have kids. We need to go back and we need to be prepared and we need to think about it. So I'm I'm so excited that we did this partnership. Thank you, Michelle for joining us. And as always, you can find more resources, tips and tricks at Baby's Best sleep.com or follow us on Instagram at @babysbestsleep or tiktok where I do some fun things sometimes, but I'm still afraid of it... but have a good one everyone.
Michelle 28:02
Bye! Thanks for having me!
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
